Urban Dictionary for Jill, Rated NC-17

So, because I miss you, I searched your name on urbandictionary.com...

and here's what happened.

Mature audiences only

1. Jill

the "girl" a guy is taking home to have sex with.

this girl is really his hand, that he is going home to masterbate with. hold it up and the fingers spell out J-i-l-l.

makes him sound cool, even though everyone knows he's pathetic and can't get any.

guy1: "me and my girl had so much sex last night"
guy2: "yeah me too, i met this fucking hot chick named Jill.


1. jill off

The female version of jack off: unassisted autoerotic stimulation.

Her boyfriend was out of town, so she got in the hot tub to jill off.


1. JILL TILL

The female version of wank bank - A conscious thought by females to mentally photograph a person so as to be able to masturbate or jill off while thinking about them at a later date. Jill off is the female version of jack off: unassisted autoerotic stimulation.

"That dude is seriously hot!"

"Yeah, I might put him in the jill till"


1. Jill zone

The area a guy gets stuck in when he is too ugly or not cool enough (etc.) to get sex but still too good, somewhat attractive enough (etc.) so that he can't get pity sex... hence he is stuck with only Jill - (the hand a guy uses to jack off with, the fingers spell out JILL)
Why do I have to be stuck in the jill zone!?!?

I couldn't have been better looking to get out of the jill zone, could I?!?

Are u kidding me?! Even melvin gets pity sex, i'm stuck in the gay jill zone!!!


1. Jill in the Box

The action taken such that when having sex in a car with a sun roof, the man thrusts upward so that the woman's (Jill) head emerges through the sunroof and moans in delight. Similar to the childrens toy the Jack in a Box especially when performed with random thrusts.

I was dogging in the park last night and whacked it while watching a Jill in the Box.


1. Jill-of-all-trades

1. a woman who is versatile, and who can perform many different activities very well.

2. the gender opposite of a Jack-of-all-trades

Jealous Girl 1: I hate Katey. She already has the corner office, and she just finished running a marathon.

Jealous Girl 2: I know, right? Did you hear that she's dating that new guy, Eric? You know, the one with the abs.

Jealous Girl 1: Ugghhh! She even baked this cake for Linda's birthday. And, it's amazing (wiping frosting from mouth.) She is truly a Jill-of-all-trades.


1. Jill Tits

Someone with rather small tits, often called "Mosquito Bites" or "Bee Stings"

That new girl has some major Jill Tits, can she even physically wear a bra?


1. jill-hookup

When someone says they have a hookup to get you a discount and in the end the hookup was more trouble than it was worth. (since it was a ghetto-hookup)

see ghetto-hookup

Yeah, that was a jill-hookup, got a savings of 6 bux...


1. Jilli

some one with a nice booty

guy1: dammnn did ya see that girls ass?
guy2: dude yaa it was such a JILLI!


1. Jill Pickle

A lesbian who is too amusing for words.

or

A gay man's good female friend.

I love chatting with my Jill Pickle.

2. Jill Pickle

A cucumber used by a female to masturbate.

Dana doesn't have a boyfriend, but she knows how to turn a 8 inch cucumber into a jill pickle when she's lonely.


1. jilldash

The simultaneous and competitive rush towards the women's bathroom which occurs in a restaurant with single-occupant restrooms when the occupant vacates.

During happy hour at Thaiphoon, fistfights occasionally break out during the jilldash.


1. jillaroo

The Australian nickname meaning cowgirl.

Wow... that's one fine Jillaroo.

2. Jillaroo

1. An extremely unattractive or "undateable" guy
2. Someone that one must avoid flirting with at all costs
3. Male who tends to spend most time alone on the computer
4. Opposite of a jackaroo

Girl #1: Eww! Rachel check out that jillaroo!
Girl #2: Yea Kaitlin, he's totally undateable!


1. jillass

The female version of jackass.

That Jessica can be such a jillass sometimes!


1. Jillianare

A Fly Ma or Woman who's got a body money cant buy

"Man Did you see that she's Jillianare!!"

"Man Girl even my money couldn't buy your Jillianare body"


1. Jilla

Slang for Crack Cocaine mainly used in Brooklyn, N.Y. around the downtown area mostly Smith st., Gowanus, Wyckoff Projects and Red Hook.

Yo did you see her? i think she smokes Jillas now


1. jillinkla

a state of mind where one thinks about everything eg. life, god culture, music...etc and attempts to makes sense of everything, only succeeding in confussing themselves after which they get into a state that they don't want to think

you: what if hitler never died? what if i was never born? what if the sky was pink? what if..........

someone: that person has gone jillinkla.


1. jillion

Large number that has yet to be invented.

Fry: One JILLION dollars.
Audience: *Gasp*
Auctioneer: Sir, that's not even a number.

2. jillion

An imaginary word that is meant to describe a number far beyond comprehension.

Angela's dad has a jillion dollars, that rich bastard.


1. jillybangin

the act of getting really fucked up. usually on weed and booze at the sametime. any combination of intoxicants that gets u retardedly buzzed.

lets go get jilly banged son. i havent been jilly bangin in a long ass time.


1. jillyflickin

created by a man to replace the term "fucking around"

My boss caught me jillyflickin behind the shed.


1. jillywillicker

a word tht is sed wen u are shocked.

u are having me a jillywillicker?!


Shlove jew,

1. Tassia

A totally gorgeous, generous, sweet, friend who is absolutely trustworthy. A funny very shy girl who enjoys hanging out with friends.

Tassia is the perfect friend.

because my life is an increasingly lame post-9/11 narrative

...fueled by booze, cigarettes, and cafe bustelo. And not sex.
I need to take down the recycling more often.

"he was too drunk to fuck anyways."

"He looks at you like a bunny that just found a carrot."

So says my Global Personality Test

Extraversion	||||||||||||||||	70%
Stability	||||||||||	38%
Orderliness	||||	18%
Accommodation	||||||||||||||||||||	90%
Interdependence	||||||||||||	43%
Intellectual	||||||||||||||||||	74%
Mystical	||||||	30%
Artistic	||||||||||||||||||||	83%
Religious	||	10%
Hedonism	||||||||||||||||	70%
Materialism	||||||||||	36%
Narcissism	||||||||||	36%
Adventurousness	||	10%
Work ethic	||||||||||	36%
Humanitarian	||||||||||||||||||||	90%
Conflict seeking	||||||||||||	43%
Need to dominate	||||||||||||	43%

Romantic	||||||||||||||||	63%
Avoidant	||||||||||||	43%
Anti-authority	||||||||||||||	56%
Wealth	||||||||||||	43%
Dependency	||||||||||	36%
Change averse	||||||||||||||	56%
Cautiousness	||||||||||||	50%
Individuality	||||||||||||||||	70%
Sexuality	||||||	23%
Peter pan complex	||||||||||	36%
Family drive	||||||||||||||||||||	90%
Physical Activity	||||||||||	36%
Histrionic	||||	16%
Paranoia	||||||||||||||||	63%
Vanity	||||||	23%
Honor	||||||||||||||	56%
Thriftiness	||||||||||||||||	70%

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:

craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose



...but!
I don't think I should have to trust anyone that can't spell EXTROVERSION, anyway.

photojournalism

crazy towwwn

I've completed most of my tour. I say that now with some renewed confidence.

Alright. So the only thing you can do once you've pretty much broken THROUGH the bottom of something, is try and regain power. Right? Sometimes you can climb out of the well.

I wonder if this has been what some people would call a nervous breakdown. It's really never something I've considered for myself. I thought that was a sort of myth, in that it only happened to people that were chemically disposed to that sort of thing. I am not clinically depressed, but I've come to understand it a little.

Today I listened to the lyrics of "trees get wheeled away", a Bright Eyes song Kate mostly plays in the apartment. How irritating, that my life should somehow emulate that song. "There's a virgin in my bed, and she's taking off her dress, and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do..." ugh, GROSS.

Jill told me it would take at least half the span of this whole event to really get over it. Let's see. August to February is...six months? So three months. Three.

I told him I couldn't see or speak to him in any real capacity. Wow, what a drama queen, what an asshole. The truth is, if I try my hardest to go back to a sort of hum-drum interaction, and lie to myself about what's happened and how it's made me feel, the elation followed by the disappointment I felt, I'm just doing that martyrization thing again. He doesn't deserve to have me around now. Two weeks ago, I think I would have done just about anything for him.

This didn't occur to me--the idea that I needed to cut him off, rather than begging him not to do the same to me--until I spoke to some distant family member. Sometimes you need the right kind of person to really listen to you. I told my stepfather's sister about it, and she's around his age, and about as unstable as I am. I had told her about him on Thanksgiving when I was stoned, that I was falling in love with this man...she asked about the ring I was wearing around my neck. His ring. Which by the way, we never acknowledged.

Because that sort of thing would happen again. And again. I would get older, and he would get lonelier, and drunker. And what if I don't find anyone else? And what if I do it all over again? What if I try to convince myself that he will come around? Come out of it? And just waste more of my time on someone who will never love me?

And even if I didn't go so far as to do that, there would still be conflict and paranoia and jealousy and defensive behavior and delusion. That's already happened. And why should I put myself through that? I can't control my subconscious. I was in love, he barely bat an eyelash. I am not hurtful, and I don't aspire to be. He can't be the bigger man, he's not emotionally armed for that. He will always wound me. He has a spear, but no armor.

After I recapitulated and gave her an update, she gave me a long stare. I said something about just waving it off and staying friends, and how having some part of him was better than having nothing, and she shook her head.

"You know after you've felt that way about someone, you can't just go back. Don't pretend it didn't mean as much as it did."

Let's talk about how I'll maybe never see Charlotte again.
No, let's not.

I'm not sure how long I will stay up nights worrying about him. Whether he's sick, how will he get to see a doctor, has he been eating, is he reading, is he writing, what is he doing with himself and is he getting through the day, though never actually wondering whether it's my fault, whether I am hurting him, or neglecting him, because he never gave a fuck about me. I don't think I ever really penetrated him at all.

pen·e·trate

v. pen·e·trat·ed, pen·e·trat·ing, pen·e·trates

v.tr.

1. To enter or force a way into; pierce.

2.

a. To enter into and permeate: The insistent rhythm of piano practice penetrated each room of the house.

b. To cause to be permeated or diffused; steep.

3. To insert the penis into the vagina or anus of.

4. To enter (an organization, for example), usually surreptitiously, so as to gain influence or information; infiltrate.

5. To grasp the inner significance of; understand.

6. To see through: keen eyes that penetrate the darkness.

7. To affect deeply, as by piercing the consciousness or emotions.

v.intr.

1. To pierce or enter into something; make a way in or through something.

2. To gain admittance or access.

3. To gain insight.

Yeah, I didn't accomplish any of those things. He accomplished them all, except for #3. Which, if you don't remember, was " to insert the penis into the vagina or anus of " me. Though he could have. Well, not the anus.

We didn't utter a word to each other.

It's just all kind of amazing to me.

Trust me guys, I can't wait until I have something better or more consuming to write about either.